Last year was the first time we had taken James away on holiday since he moved into supported accommodation. We took him to the Isle of Wight. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad but it was quite stressful. Mostly due to things like having to queue for the ferry and roadworks and slow-moving traffic on the Island. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to eradicate all those things completely but it’s not only stressful for us but also upsetting to see James distressed struggling with those things too. So, this year we booked a lodge in a holiday park only about forty-five minutes drive from James’ house.
Having packed and done a food shop that morning we picked James up after lunch and set off. We arrived shortly after check-in time and fortunately had no major traffic hold ups on the way. It was one of those drive through check-ins and we were third in the queue, James did start to get agitated but thankfully we got moving quite quickly. The next challenge was to find our lodge and we did go the wrong way once so had to turn around, again another trigger for James. Once we had found it and while Darryl trudged in and out to collect all the bags, I tasked James with unloading the cool bag and putting things in the fridge. He did this briefly before losing interest. Five minutes later we had his puzzles out and he was pressing me to sit with him and do those so, wanting to keep him happy, that’s what I did.
Our Accomodation
When we made the booking last November I had a long chat with customer services and explained that we had some specific needs. Not all lodges have a bath and for us that is a necessity. James likes to lay in a bath, trying to shower him is tricky and not good for our backs and you tend to get a soaking in the process. James really doesn’t enjoy it either. Also, some lodges have bunk beds or cabin beds for children and these aren’t suitable for James. Instead, we had requested that we had a lodge with twin divan beds as we had planned that one of us would sleep in with James. I don’t like the thought of him waking alone in the night and being frightened or wondering where he is. To be honest, there’s more likelihood of him staying in bed a little longer in the morning if one of us is there too. As we were booking a lodge with a hot tub our final request was one of privacy. It’s difficult looking at the site maps online to see exactly how much space etc is between lodges.
On arrival we were really pleased with our accommodation. It was very private. The side which had opening folding doors onto the garden and hot tub faced out over trees and nothing beyond. Whilst the weather was hot there were plenty of windows and the lodge cooled down quickly in the evenings, far better than my house does. (I had taken two fans with us as the forecast was for very hot weather). The bedroom for James was ideal and Darryl kindly opted to share with James. We had booked a lodge that slept six people (two on the lounge sofa) and I would’ve found it cramped with six but for the three of us and all of James paraphernalia there was ample space. James does not travel lightly!
We spent the next few hours settling in and James usually makes himself at home. As long as he has somewhere to sit and do puzzles and have his dinner and somewhere to lounge he’s usually quite happy. The nice thing was that it was open-plan and so we were all in one space and James could see and hear the TV/radio from the table. He had wanted the radio on within minutes of getting there as he is used to having it on at home.
Whilst there were eating facilities onsite, we usually opt to cater for ourselves, partly for ease but also because I can’t always guarantee there will be suitable food available for James as he needs a soft moist diet with limited dairy. The kitchen area was small but had everything we needed and so after we had tea we went out for a walk around the site to see what was about, and where the shop and pool were as we had a swim booked for the next morning. James was quite happy and once back we got on with the usual routine of him having a bath. The bath was actually in my bedroom and had a glass-screened TV above it. Once in the huge bath, Darryl put this on and the novelty of it seemed to amuse James😊.
The first evening continued as it normally would with us doing puzzles with James, reading books and him playing on his ipad. We never used to take this with us but, however briefly he plays with it, it does give us a break sometimes if just for 10 mins as he really doesn’t occupy himself with anything else. Once we turned the radio to the TV later he was happy to chill on the sofas with us reading and having his gastrostomy feed.
Bedtime
Often times when we are away James won’t settle in bed too easily. Last year he kept getting out of bed and eventually I had to go into his room and lay down on the other bed, pretending to be asleep, in order that he would settle and go to sleep himself and I was fully expecting this again this year too. However, James was so good going to bed. Once I tucked him in and put his bed guard up (we had taken this from home to ensure he couldn’t fall out of bed) I left the room. Leaving the door ajar as we were directly outside his door in the lounge area. For a while we could hear him puffing and moving about but not once did he get up and he just fell asleep. Darryl later joined him and whilst James slept well he did wake at 6am!! James then went to bed and fell straight asleep for the next 3 nights. We did have 2 nights when he needed a pad change in the middle of the night and he did get up at 6am the first two days but the next two mornings he got up a bit later.
The first morning was a bit stressful and already feeling tired I did wonder how we were going to get on for the rest of our stay (Mon-Fri). Swimming had been challenging as James needed to come out of the pool for a pad change which was difficult. But, we got into a routine and found it was best to have our swim in the afternoons (these had been booked before arrival). We tended to go for a walk after breakfast before it got too hot, there were lots of places to walk around on site and then we would go to the shop/café and have coffee and cake. This is an integral part of James day. Afterwards we’d go back to the lodge and go in the hot tub before the sun came round and it was too hot. James was very happy in the hot tub and so this was quite a chilled-out time. We’d then spend some time doing his puzzles etc before lunch and, as it was really hot weather, it was best to be inside for a couple of hours across this part of the day. Puzzles are James’ ‘thing.’ He will spend hours doing them although he wants you to do it with him. Wherever he is it’s what he wants to do so, as this holiday was really about spending some quality time with him, it’s what we did. After lunch we would try and sit on the sofas where James wanted me to read books and as he snuggled in to me he generally had a short doze too. On the last day he actually just laid on the sofa with his iPad and fell asleep.
Later in the afternoon we’d go to the main pool for a swim. As the weather was hot I was glad we had booked the indoor pool and, as most people it seemed wanted to be in the outdoor pool, it was lovely and quiet. James has his own swimming technique but it’s very effective and he was happy in the pool for a good half an hour or so swimming up and down. There weren’t, unfortunately, any family changing rooms so either Darryl took him into the mens or I took him into the ladies and used a cubicle. Its hard work on my back but we managed. Again once back at the lodge it would be puzzle time then tea and afterwards we’d go for a short walk. We jumped in the hot tub when we got back and then James could go straight to his bath before we’d chill on the sofa.
‘Holidays’ with James are hard work. He needs a lot of occupying and even transitions from one activity to the next can be triggering for him, lots of changes of clothes, getting undressed and dressed etc after swimming can all be quite stressful. I don’t know why but I took a magazine with me and, not surprisingly, I didn’t touch it all week!! James needs changing and feeding and medication etc etc. There’s a lot of stuff to take and a lot of planning goes into taking James away in the hope that it all goes smoothly. We didn’t leave the site at all. It was nice in some ways to give James a break from the car as he often finds this very challenging. The weather was very hot so what would we have done with him had we gone out anyway. We didn’t go for a drink or use the eating facilities which we would have had we been on our own but this too can be difficult for James. Having said all of that this was one of the most successful and enjoyable holidays we have had with him. So much so that we have booked again for next year. They can’t guarantee the same lodge but we have requested it and I spoke to guest services and they were fully understanding of our needs so will do what they can.
I woke at 5.30am the last morning with my stomach in knots. As tired as I was I was dreading the thought of taking James home, it really doesn’t get any easier for me. This constant inner turmoil I have to live with. James, however, was fine when we left him and has been quite happy since he got home. I think he’s ready by then to slip back into his comfortable day to day routine and if I’m honest it’s a long enough break for all of us as it is tiring. However, I shall look forward to doing it all again next year.
Sounds like you had a happy holiday!
We did Meta Thankyou. X