We all have things we don’t enjoy doing, my son, James, is no exception. When it comes to taking care of yourself though there are some things that just have to be done.
Haircuts
James has never really enjoyed having his hair cut. This is not uncommon for people with autism. Those affected may be anxious about the process and what is involved or may experience sensory issues. The salon environment may cause sensory overload. It’s not until we really think about it that we realise just how much is going on in a salon. They are usually bright and well-lit with lots of mirrors reflecting light and images. There are lots of different noises in a salon. Hairdryers, taps running, trolleys being moved, chatter and possibly music playing, and then the smells too. Not to mention the sensation of being sprayed with water to wet the hair, the rustling of aprons, lots of touching and snipping of scissors or clippers. It’s not surprising it can become overwhelming.
In all honesty I’m not sure how much of the above affects James. His biggest issue seems to be managing to sit still……especially when our hairdresser has forgotten to turn the radio down and he is bopping his head to the music!
When James and his brother were little, I found by the far the easiest thing to do was to have a lady come to our house to cut their hair. We had a little wooden chair my dad had made for James and I’d put a sheet on the carpet and put the chair on it in front of the TV and on would go a favourite DVD. For his brother that was enough, but for James I’d sit beside him and help to occupy him. Haircuts were kept simple and it was a quick whisk over with the clippers. The good thing about doing it at home too was that as soon as it was done, I could put the boys straight in the bath so they didn’t have prickly hair on them.
When that hairdresser moved away, I struggled to find another who could come to the house so I started taking the boys to a local salon. As I said previously, staying still is difficult for James, he’s far too busy turning his head to watch what’s going on and to look out of the window. He also doesn’t really like having the apron on so we often don’t bother. The lady who cuts his hair has been doing it for years and she tries to remember to turn the radio down, but sometimes forgets. When it comes to cutting the fiddly bits around James’ neck or ears, I will use books or pictures on my phone in an attempt to get him to look down or stay still. Some days are better than others depending on his mood but we get there somehow. Many a time I’ve had to trim some stray hairs that escaped the clippers or on occasion the hairdresser has been mortified if she clipped a bit that shouldn’t have been, but we’ve had no major disasters.
Even since James has moved from our home to supported accommodation he still goes to the same salon near our house because its so familiar to him. The hairdresser only works part time so we have to book well in advance to get a suitable time on a Friday. Staff will pick him up from his day service and take him for his haircut on their way home.
Cutting Those Nails
James also hates having his nails cut and this has been the cause of many a meltdown over the years. His finger nails grow quite quickly and are really strong so I have to cut them religiously every fortnight to avoid him scratching himself with them. His toenails I can get away with every month. The best way I have found to do his nails are when we are sat at the table. When I say I need to cut his nails he shakes his head. However, he is much improved and if I give him his iPad, he’ll play one of his word games while I do them. He still has a moan about it and with each nail he will pull free from my grip but we manage. I find small scissors the best and try and go round in one cut giving them a quick file with an emery board afterwards to make sure there are no sharp jagged bits.
The Joys of Shaving
I don’t remember what age we actually started shaving James. He had started to grow body hair from the age of seven years old. The technical name for this is precocious puberty (when puberty starts before the age of nine years in boys). It was sometime later that he started growing facial hair too, hence we have been shaving him for many years. Again, it’s one of those things that’s a necessity but he doesn’t enjoy. As time has gone on the frequency of him needing a shave has naturally increased. James is dark haired too so has quite a shaving shadow going on between shaves. It’s reached a point where it really has to be done every other day. It can be tempting to leave it, especially if he is not in the most patient of moods, but it doesn’t pay off. The longer the bristles the more of a struggle it is, so actually it’s easier and less stressful for James to give him a quick shave more frequently.
We use an electric shaver; I’ve tried various different ones. The trick is to try and keep James calm. Sounds contradictory I know but I actually sing to him, nothing too lively though, we have a couple of quiet calming songs for shaving to. I’ll get him to stand with his back up against something, usually my tall bathroom radiator and then he can’t back away from me. He still fidgets about all over the place and getting him to look up so I can get to his neck is a challenge!
Wouldn’t life would be so much easier for James (and those caring for him) if we didn’t have to do all these things. And don’t even get me started on teeth brushing!!!
